Nangten Menlang - Buddhist Medical Center

An meinen geliebten Lehrer

Vielen Dank für all die aufschlussreichen und bedeutenden Fragen, die an unseren geliebten Lehrer gerichtet worden sind!

Tulku Lobsang hat eine Auswahl von Fragen beantwortet, zu Themen wie Sinn des Lebens, Überwindung von Angst und Wut, Essenz des Buddhismus, Schlafstörungen, Präsenz im jetzigen Moment, Zeitpunkt des Todes und zur Frage, wie man sich selbst liebt.

In diesen Fragen und Antworten sind viel Weisheit und Rat zu finden.

Mögen alle Leser Nutzen daraus ziehen!

Rachel.Terhorst - July 12, 2011

Why are we here? Does everybody have a unique purpose in life?

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

The purpose of life is universal. Everyone's purpose is to become a happy person and a better person. I believe that our lives can be on the border between heaven and hell. It can go either way. Therefore, the purpose of having this life is to make a big difference in your own life. Change your life for the better. Sometimes things will look up, and sometimes they will look down, but the purpose of this life is for everyone to go up. But, of course, this is not always something easy. This answer I give will be relevant to anyone, whether they are religious or not.

I am a person of Buddhism and so it so from the view of Buddhism that I give this answer: The purpose of life is to become enlightened, to awaken the mind. The reason for coming here to this planet is to find our path. Likewise, our own life is our best teacher for finding the path of enlightenment and the path to the awakened mind. Life is a great teacher. But being a great teacher means that life always gives challenges. Life always forces you to move forward, never lets you just sit in the same position. Life wants you to awaken your mind. That is why it seems like life is often making problems for us. It seems like life is just full of problems, but really these problems are just a way to wake up. They awaken the mind. Therefore, the best purpose of life is to become a person with an awakened mind.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered in Spain, September 2011

Esther - July 03, 2011

Namasté Tulku Lobsang,

I met you when you were in Bonn/Bad Godesberg for preaching about lu jong. Afterwards you asked me kindly how I am. I said I´m fine but I wanted to ask you something, but it seemed as I was too shy to do so. Now I´m trying it, my question is, what to do, if you don´t trust yourself anymore, and have problems to trust other people- if your are fearing love, although you are longing for it? I am doing lu jong now everyday- it helps me to find back to myself. But I am still in a situation whether I don´t know if I´m on the right way.

Still thankful for meeting you, and looking forward to an answer from you.

Thank you.

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

We never know exactly what is right and what is wrong. That is the reason that we need trust. Therefore, we need to practice. We need to train ourselves to trust. Training is the key.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on July 24th, 2011
New York City, NY, USA

Trashikunga - June 16, 2011

How can I follow the path of the Buddha if I find so much confusion and dishonesty among members of the Sanga? They do not seem to exemplify the teachings and principles of the Dharma.

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

No one can be a good example for you. You are the only good example for yourself.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on July 24th, 2011
New York City, NY, USA

Tortoise7 - June 01, 2011

Dear Tulku,

My question is silly compared to other awful things going on in the world, but if you have the answer I appreciate please some wise guidance that might avoid me and other people unnecessary suffering in the future. Like many women I have suffered deeply from attachment in my past relationships. I know now this is wrong and that the excess of attachment and expectations on my behalf is the cause to my suffering. But now it has made me fearful and cautious to simply enjoy something that is wonderful energy and is so natural. Now I see my good friend suffering like I did. She was very happy with a man for a short time but now is suffering because they separated and have taken different paths. If I compare a man to a dragon and a woman to a volcano, a man is freer than a woman and so can enjoy life more, because a dragon can fly into a volcano and make the volcano erupt, and then the dragon can freely fly away and visit another volcano if it wishes to. But a volcano needs a dragon to erupt and wants the dragon to stay there so the fire doesn´t die down. If the dragon flies away, the volcano will soon turn into a cold rock. And as the volcano doesn t have wings to fly away, it has no choice but to stay where it is and wait for another dragon to fly in. The real problem is that the volcano needs the dragon to feel complete.This is a selfish reason is it not? To need someone to be happy? It is easier to love someone than to accept love is over. the dragon is impermanent so the volcano would probably be happier permanently without a dragon that comes and goes but does not stay as the volcano wishes. But without the dragon the volcano is just a lifeless rock.

What I mean by this is I would be a happier person and enjoy life more if I would be able share myself with another person without feeling pain brought on by attachment and wanting permanence in a relationship that is doomed to be impermenant like all good things in Samsara. And I know others like my friend who would be happier too. But I don´t know how to and where to start...

I have attented two of yours conferences on the sword of wisdom. So my question is can sword of wisdom technique cut the pain of attachment and set me free like a dragon or am i condemned to be a barren volcano for the rest of my woman life? I hope not because it would be rather boring not to love a nice man.

Thank you for your time.

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

You compare man to a dragon. Dragons always have wings and dragons are also hunters. The fact that he has wings means that he needs to fly. Let him fly. Maybe that is the only way that he can come back. If you hold on to the dragon and prevent him from flying, then he is no longer a dragon. And maybe he will die. Let him fly free, and then you also become free of the dragon. Then you and the dragon will have a good relationship.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on July 24th, 2011
New York City, NY, USA

Debby - April 14, 2011

My Question Is,
How can I find peace in my self when I don't know my self.
I wanna thank you for helping me to find my destination.

Love Debby

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

To be peaceful, you don't need to know anything. To be peaceful is just a simple decision. Whatever you decide will appear in yourself. Therefore, don't wait until you know yourself. That will only happen when you become enlightened. Until you come to enlightenment, you won't completely know yourself. But still it is possible to be a peaceful person now. The only solution is to simply decide to be peaceful.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on July 24th, 2011
New York City, NY, USA

Kaidabei - April 12, 2011

Dear Tulku Lobsang,

I am glad to ask you my personal question. I meditate every day with my body and my mind, I train my awareness in lots of moments, I practise yoga and read a lot (at the moment the books written by Osho) but now I feel that I need a real master/teacher who can help me to find and not only to search all the time. How can I find? Or just relax, wait and see if I meet someone sometime? If there is one for me he will find me?
Thank you a lot for your understanding.

Greatings from Vienna,
Kai

PS: I like your new music cd

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

It is possible for a master to find you, but nearly impossible. For you to find a master is also possible, but again, very, very difficult. What you need to do is to make your master. You simply need to say, "This is my master." You make this person your master. This is the way that you will have a master.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on July 24th, 2011
New York City, NY, USA

Student - April 12, 2011

Dear Tulku Lama Lobsang,

I would like to now how to do the Tonglen correctly?. Its is posible to benefit someone who is suffering ...if whe see him/her walking in street or to anyone unknown who is sitting behind, or so far away?
2.- Could the Tonglen be effective if the person who recive it does not want to be or recive help?

Thanksfully Ana

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

The main purpose and benefit of Tonglen is to be free of your own problems. If you are a very highly accomplished Tonglen practitioner it is possible that you can also alleviate the suffering of others. But mostly, we are beginners. This practice mainly helps ourselves. But still, I'm sure if we really practice, we can bring some benefit for the problems of others.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on July 24th, 2011
New York City, NY, USA

Victoria - April 11, 2011

Nemasté Tulku Lama Lobsang,

When personal energy is stagnant and projects do not appear in our daily lives, can you teach a ritual that can make my life flow?

Best wishes,
Victoria

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

The best method for making things flow in your life is to simply think about what you wish for, what you want. Just believe that what you want will appear. Wishing and believing are the best rituals, because whatever you think and believe influences your life. Therefore, never give up believing.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on July 24th, 2011
New York City, NY, USA

Annemiek - April 11, 2011

Dear Tulku Lobsang,

I always feel the need to impress people. I am not realy doing things to impress, but it is always on my mind.
How can I stop this way of thinking.

Kind regards
Annemiek

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

Somehow, we all want the attention of others. We always want to have influence over others. We are human and are only happy when we can change others and affect them somehow. This is why you want to impress them.
Because it makes you happy when you can change someone, affect their mind and opinions. But impressing others is not so easy. It is very complicated and expensive and requires a lot of effort. It is better to change yourself. Change yourself and then you do not need to change others. You won't need to impress others. Changing yourself so that you no longer need to impress others. The essence of impressing others is just to change them, to have an influence on them. The purpose of impressing others is to make you seem special. Wanting to become special is the biggest problem of humans. We humans have so much unnecessary stuff because we want to be special. We are too special. That is the problem! We should be normal. Being normal is what we strive for as a spiritual practitioner.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on July 24th, 2011
New York City, NY, USA

Sabrina - April 11, 2011

Dear, Tulku Lobsang,

Why do I keep thinking about the past?
I am a single mom of a beautiful son, my question is: How do u get over it???
Take care. Love,

Sabrina.

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

Life is just the simple present moment. And in this present moment, you don't need to think so much because you can just see everything. And if there is a problem in this present moment, maybe you can change it or maybe it is not possible to change. Somehow it is simple. But the past is something that is gone. You will not see it again; it is something that is gone; it is no longer there. We think so much about the past because the past is what causes us most of our problems. Why? Because the past is something you can no longer change. It is impossible to change because it is gone. It is just memories. The reality of the past is gone. It is only pictures. These pictures appear in the present moment, but it isn't the present moment that causes problems, but the picture of the past and thinking so much about the past that causes problems. Why do we keep the past with us? The past is gone and only the picture remains. So there is nothing left to change. It is out of our control. It is like grabbing at the empty sky. There is only a picture, nothing solid. Maybe you can change this picture, but there is nothing more than this. Conclusion: The past causes us a lot of problems because it is not really there, but you act like it is there. Better not to grasp at it. Focus on the present moment instead.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on July 24th, 2011
New York City, NY, USA

Alberto - April 11, 2011

How can I change my karma?
How could it be a happier person?
How could better help people?

Thank you

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

To change your karma means you need to change your way of thinking. If you change your way of thinking, you change your karma. This is the way to help yourself and others.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on June 8th, 2011
Florianopolis, Brazil

0032 - April 11, 2011

Is it possible, even when one has been born in the West, and if one has been educated as a Roman Catholic, to understand and feel the essence of Buddhism ? And I should have started with this question : what is the essence of Buddhism ? Thank you, Lama, if you would be so kind to answer these questions and also, if you do not select them.

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

The essence of Buddhism is three things: discipline, mindfulness, and the alert mind. So, really, the essence of Buddhism is love. Because when you have love, you don't need discipline, you automatically have it. When you have love, you don't need to practice mindfulness, because you automatically have it. When you have love, you don't need to practice having an alert mind, your mind is automatically alert.

Love is the essence of Buddhist teachings. If you know what love is, then you know the essence of Buddhism. The essence of Buddhism is YOU. If you understand your own essence, you understand the essence of Buddhism.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on June 8th, 2011
Florianopolis, Brazil

Angi - April 11, 2011

Dear Tulku Lobsang,

thank you for the opportunity to ask you something. It´s a great pleasure for me.

My questions are:
Why do people get sick?
How is it possible to get well?

Thank you! I´m looking forward to your reply.

Kind regards. Angi

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

The cause of many diseases is ignorance. Because of ignorance, we do not have mindfulness of our body, of our food, of our thoughts or our speech. Many things we do not know. Mindfulness is the way to be healthy. Then you will know exactly what you need to do and what not to do. This is the way to be healthy.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on June 8th, 2011
Florianopolis, Brazil

Lydia Soto Cortés - April 09, 2011

Hello loved Lama. I would like to know why it is better to say the mantra 108 times. An embrace and up to soon.

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

Here, it is just a number. In Tantrayana, there are many special numbers. They are special because when you get there you receive some power, some achievement. But with reciting mantras, we say 108 because if we say 100, you always miss a few here and there. So you do 108 to be safe, to be sure that have done a complete 100.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on June 8th, 2011
Florianopolis, Brazil

Thomas - April 08, 2011

Dear Tulku Lama Lobsang,

I deeply wish to start Ngöndro-Practice. Could you give advice concerning doing prostrations and reciting the Vajrasattva-Mantra?

Yours sincerely,
Thomas

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

Usually, you do prostrations and say the refuge prayer in combination. Then, Vajrasattva meditation and Vajrasattva mantra are done in combination. But still, it is possible at the time of prostration to recite the Vajrasattva mantra. Each prostration you can recite one or two. You can do it like this.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on June 8th, 2011
Florianopolis, Brazil

Sebasks - April 05, 2011

Lama, with respect.

The context of this question is that some people I know get confused including me, by the merchandising and advertising of a spiritual teacher. How can I see with more clarity this aspect and work with that?

Thank you.

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

Generally, I do not think there is anything wrong with advertisement and selling things. It depends on one's motivation. Especially in this 21st century, which is the century of communication. Communication is through email, newspapers and magazines because this is the way to communicate. Therefore, we need to adapt to this century's way of communicating.

We could just let students know of teachings, but this is just a few people. There are many other people, lay people, that need and want teachings. These people need some picture to reach into their lives. We can't knock on people's door and tell them, so these advertisements are the way to communicate with them.

I also feel that it is very okay to sell things. Again, it depends on motivation. For example, if someone is not a good teacher, does not know things, and they just like to make business and make themselves important, then this is bad motivation. But if you have good motivation, to help people, then these two things can come together, no problem. In my view, there is nothing wrong. Of course, only the person themselves knows their true motivation; no one else can really know.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on June 8th, 2011
Florianopolis, Brazil

Verena - March 08, 2011

Dear Tulku Lobsang,
thank you for listening to me.

I´m Verena and I´m 43 years old. There are a few month since I think I lost my right way.

Till last year I´m happy to help people in my own practice. Last year I moved to another place, because I don´t feel good at this place anymore and it was time to change the place. I ask some special people, if the new place was good for me. These people say it was a good place and also I felt that it was a good new place. I also get a pucha of your monks (they have been in Murnau last year and they come to me and have done a pucha for me and my practice). I thought it was really a good start for my new place. But there are only disasters. Really nothing is going easy. The last was an demage with water, so my flat and my practice were full of musty, so I can´t live and work there now.

I ask me all the time what it means to me, what want it to say to me, where I have to look at it? Have I to change the place again, have I to change my work or...

Since January I`m learning Lu Jong and there I´ve read the information, that Medicin and Astrology hang together. I´m thinking about taking a horoscope to look, if I´m still on the right way or to get some information what I have to change outside of me and inside of me. I´m loosing my confidence in my way and I feel it makes me very sick.

Taking a horoscope is this a good idea or is this an evasion of me? When it´s a good solution who can do it for me.

Yours sincerly
Verena

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

Generally it is a very good idea to make some kind of astrological chart. Maybe there is some explanation. It could be a bad moment, or a bad year for you. If this is the case, there might be some kind of method to be free. Maybe some ritual or method can release these problems. It is very possible.
It is also possible that your house can be in the wrong place, or facing the wrong direction. The commonly used Chinese term for this is feng shui. So, the external feng shui could be off, or maybe the internal feng shui is off. An example of this is if the furniture and such is arranged in a wrong way. So, it may be beneficial to have someone check the feng shui of the place.
Then, it is also possible that there is something going on within yourself. It's possible that it is something in your mind. Just look, sit, meditate. Look carefully at yourself to determine what is going on. Maybe you will find something there to change. It is difficult to say exactly what is happening, so I just give you a few possible options. I cannot answer so directly.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on March 15th, 2011
Amersfoort, The Netherlands

Christie - February 25, 2011

Mindfullness is comming from meditation. Compassion is comming fron love. So where does one find unconditional love for one's self? I find this the most difficult, can you please help

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

In the end, meditation becomes love and love becomes meditation. Love is the way to be silent. And meditation is the way to open your heart. Deep down they are the same.

To love yourself, you just need to be happy with yourself. Accept yourself. Everything that is going on within yourself, simply accept. That is the only way to be happy.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on June 8th, 2011
Florianopolis, Brazil

Gondori - February 18, 2011

Yesterday evening I read about your programm in Basel.
Tomorrow morning I had a dream: I asked you a question everything was in a blue light.
When I waked up I looked to your homepage and realised that it is realy possible to ask you questions... strange... and now my question from the dream:
How is it possible to have a continious feeling of happiness. What might I do?
Meditation helps me much, but not to be continiuos in a relaxed happy and friendly state.
Is only possible to be in a relaxed happy state during meditation?
My wish is to be in happyness and trust every times.

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

Every day you must choose to be happy. Not only this, but every three hours you need to remind yourself about your choice to be happy in life. That is the way to continually be happy.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on June 8th, 2011
Florianopolis, Brazil

Monique - February 14, 2011

Namasté Tulku Lama Lobsang,

When a person is very powerfull and the energy of that person feels very cold, he / she knows ways and specific points of the energetic body to control other persons energy to steal it from a distance, then what?

How to deal with people who steal energy from us that way?

Warm wishes,
Monique

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

It is best to keep distance from people like that. Don't think so much about these people. Don't fear them. Just have compassion for these people. This is the best way not to lose your energy. When you have fear you lose your energy more easily. Maybe they take it and maybe they don't, but still you will lose it. I'm sure not many people have this kind of power to take energy, but whatever we believe comes true. Therefore, it is best to have compassion toward this person. This protects you. This is the best protection amulet.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on March 15th, 2011
Amersfoort, The Netherlands

Phoenix - February 10, 2011

When we spoke in Phoenix, we joked a little, but also talked seriously. One point that I remember is you said "If you are going to take a serious spiritual path you cannot be in a relationship (with a man)". Please forgive me for misquoting you, and surly misunderstanding. My question... is there truth to this? Can one grow more spiritually by being free from committed relationships? After all there are many ways to be in love.

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

The reason I say this is because to seriously practice the spiritual path, you need complete freedom. You need to be free to do what you want. But, in the usual type of relationship, neither of you is totally free. Your partner doesn't let you do everything, maybe you need to always spend time together, so you can't do other things. This might cause trouble.

Of course, it is also possible that you might be in a relationship where you both have the same kind of warmth, the same kind of ideas, and then you don't block each other so much, only help. It depends what kind of relationship it is. Not all relationships aren't okay.

So, it is difficult to be with the kind of man that prevents you from doing things on your path. They may say yes at first, and then, in the end they say no. This is why I say this.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on June 8th, 2011
Florianopolis, Brazil

Felina - February 03, 2011

I love two man!
A is beatiful, inteligent, shy, calm, the best friend anyone can find and I feel safe, secure and serene next to him! He never makes me feel bad!
N is beatiful, inteligent, funny, someone I can have conversations about anything and I feel excited, passion and have spontaneaus laughs! When he feels insecure, he tries to make me feel the same!
Is it possible to love so different persons?
Which one is the true love?
I believe both are!
I also feel my hapiness is compromise, because I am with A, but always missing N!

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

I can't really say whether you truly love these men or not. Only you can know that. But it is possible to love not only two different people, but to love countless people. Love is always infinite. But commitment is not infinite. Therefore, when you talk about only being able to love one person, what you mean is that you can only commit to one person. Still, it is possible for you to love two people. People misunderstand love and commitment. Usually, the nature of love is outside of commitment, but society and culture always say that we need to commit to one person, that you need to love one person. But love does not depend on commitment. Love is just love. Love is free. Love needs to be free, naturally. I do think you love both men, but I don't know if society will accept this or not. Therefore, you need to find a way. In this 21st century there are many possibilities. Maybe you can find a way to stay with both men. But I don't believe that one can only love one person. It is possible for us to love many people, in the same way or in different ways. But our system and our society don't accept this. So, it may be difficult, but still you can try. Maybe it is possible for you. 

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on March 15th, 2011
Amersfoort, The Netherlands

Bastone1111 - January 11, 2011

Dear Tulku-la,

What can a personn do if she does a lot of nightmares and have trouble to sleep?

Thank you for everything.

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

Generally, nightmares happen around 12 o'clock. This is because around midnight our blood begins to change. Blood moves our conscious energy and because the nature of blood is that of bile, and because the nature of bile is fire, it is connected with anger and aggressiveness. Because of this, you can have dreams that are of fighting or violence and problems. Therefore, it is best to go to sleep well before midnight, maybe around 10 pm or 9 pm. It is better to go to sleep at this time, for you will sleep better.
Traditionally, we also have a method to help this. Try to visualize in every pulse that your master is there. This will help to release nightmares. Maybe you are a person that doesn't believe this. Then use whatever you believe. Visualize that every pulse point contains the presence of your master or teacher. Use whatever you have belief in. This will help.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on March 15th, 2011
Amersfoort, The Netherlands

Jazzygirl85 - December 26, 2011

Dear teacher,

I really love my parents but it seems that my father is trying to me love and my mom does not want me to give her love... so how can i practice giving unconditional love to both?

When i mirror my moms anger than she is friendly and seems to give me love but when i am loving to her she is just angry.

Please help me.

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

This kind of behavior means that your mother wants more attention. The best thing for you to do is be silent. That is the way your mother will learn to love without you having to become angry.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on June 8th, 2011
Florianopolis, Brazil

Edzo - December 10, 2011

Is fear the most difficult emotion?

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

Yes, fear is fundamentally a difficult emotion. We have fear that something will happen that we don't like, or fear that we will receive what we don't want, or hear what we don't want to hear. We have fear of losing things that we already have, losing the things that we like. So there is fear of receiving and fear of losing. This means that fear is the enemy of love, because love can only be experienced through giving and receiving. Fear never allows you to receive anything and fear doesn't allow you to give anything either. Therefore, this is the most dangerous emotion. In Buddhist teachings, we call fear a demon. We say that when fear is inside you, there is a demon inside you. When you have fear, you see everything differently. You become like a ghost. You start to see everything that you do not want. Fear makes you see things exactly like you don't want to see them. It is the most dangerous emotion. And someone that has a lot of fear is the most dangerous person. Because of fear, it is possible for them to see everything in the wrong way, understand everything in the wrong way. Because of fear they fight, kill, talk badly about others. Therefore, yes. Fear is a very dangerous emotion. Especially in this 21st century, we are in the century of fear. Everyone is playing with our fear. The medicine of fear is faith and love.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on March 15th, 2011
Amersfoort, The Netherlands

Susanne - November 16, 2011

Dear Tulku Lobsang,

Thank you very much for this wunderfull week-end in wienna.
Regarding the kalachakra daily practice may I ask you if I can read the sadhana in my language or should I try to read it in tibetan even if I am not sure about the pronunciation?
With my very best wishes to you.
Sincerely,

Susanne

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

Do these things in your own language, this is best. The meaning is the most important thing. This makes it go more deep.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on March 15th, 2011
Amersfoort, The Netherlands

Jazzygirl80 - November 07, 2011

Dear Tulku,

I was raised in a strict church community, but confronted my fear with buddhas help cos the church could not help me(that is what my teacher told me, she said she asked buddha for help)...Therefore I go to church but also respect and thank buddha...And I want to know more about buddha and right now I know nothing about him.
Can you recommend a good book to learn about him and a way to thank him.

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

Honestly, it is not possible for me to read English, therefore I don't know much about books or what kind of books are good. But I am confident that the Dalai Lama's books are quite good. Particularly, he has a book on The Four Noble Truths and also there is book called The Power of Compassion that is a collection of his teachings. So, maybe these kinds of book are good. But, I think you will be able to find even more good book yourself.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on March 15th, 2011
Amersfoort, The Netherlands

Dancedbyspirit - September 26, 2010

How do we learn to deeply love ourself?

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

Learn to love yourself by realizing that you are the solution of the universe. You are the solution to all problems. Other people's problems conclude in your own problems. Remember that when you love yourself this means that you are happy with yourself, happy with how you are. When you are happy with yourself there is no reason to make problems for others or for yourself. Loving yourself is the only way to love others. And loving others is the only way to be happy. When you are happy, that is the moment that we say you love yourself. Loving yourself is not only important in your own life, but also very important in the lives of others.

Loving yourself is actually very simple. Just be happy with how you are. My worry is that since loving yourself is so easy that maybe no one does this. Self love appears to be difficult not because it is complicated or difficult. Self love is so easy it doesn't cost anything. It becomes difficult only because it is so easy.

Loving others is also the way to love yourself. Loving yourself is also the way to love others. They are like east and west, inseparable. Whenever there is east there must also be west. And without west there is no east. Interdependent arising. Just start whichever way is easier for you.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on October 25, 2010
Vancouver, BC, Canada

Joanah - September 26, 2010

Beloved teacher,

I´m a person who´s trying to find his heart and way.Since I was a little girl my main purpose has been helping people in need because that´s what makes me feel fulfilled.But lately I have been in conflict...I´ve been thinking about the significance of the feeling compassion.I help others because it makes me feel happy. So I do it with some interest, not just to help others but also to help me. My question is if I do it because it makes me feel fulfilled, so it`s not a uninterested act. My feeling of compassion is just a selfish compassion? Or is it steel sincere?

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

The goal of practicing love and compassion is to make you happy, because for you to be happy is the most important thing. When you are happy, at least you don't harm anyone else. Therefore, it is not wrong for you to help others because you want to be happy. That is right. We need to be happy. This is the most important thing. But the problem is that we don't know how to be happy. To help others is the only way to change ourselves. It is the only way to make us happy. Helping is what makes you happy. But don't expect anything more than just that you help. Helping itself is what makes you happy. The possibility for helping them is your happiness. There is no more. Therefore, don't expect more after you help. If you expect something more, than this is not compassion. This will become pain. You create pain for yourself and you create pain for others. We have the absolute right to make ourselves happy. The problem is that we don't know how to do it. Helping others is the best way to make us happy. Sometimes our Buddhist teachings say that we need both and Buddha and sentient beings on the spiritual path. With Buddha and holy beings we practice devotion. Devotion is the way to make our mind more clear and clean. The mind becomes more pure. And helping others is the way to transform our negative mind to become more positive. So don't need feel guilty for doing this.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on October 9, 2010
Joshua Tree, California, USA

Belinda - September 26, 2010

Dear Tulku,

I would like to work for your organization, so that I can contribute to the change that they want to experience.
I can guarantee that, and loyalty, dedication, hard work, so my enthusiasm but above all the reflection of the love in me that I find everywhere.
I am a grateful woman that I love so much can give and receive.

I truly believe that everything in balance value.

Warm regards,
Belinda

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

Dear Belinda,

Help is the only way to change. People's spirits need to change in order to become more enlightened. We need more people to help. We have a saying in Tibet, "One string can never become a rope." This means that one person alone does not have much power to help. Therefore, we we need more people to help. That is how we become like a rope -- strong. Therefore, welcome.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on October 9, 2010
Joshua Tree, California, USA

Pauline - September 26, 2010

I enjoyed reading your insights about love and protection. My question to you is: how do I let go of the walls that almost automatically pop up when someone I care about acts in a way that feels hurtful to me? I don't want to feel my heart closing in response to another person's actions/words, but I don't seem to be able to stop it from happening.

Thank you!

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

Dear Pauline,

Yes this happens and it seems like it is automatic because at first we are so used to protecting ourselves. But this is not our nature. It has just become a habit to do it. Therefore, this is something we have the possibility to change. You see, if someone says something hurtful to you, what is it that really makes you close? Is it the person who says these things that closes you, or is it the words themselves that make you close? Do they actually make you close you or is it the sound of the words that makes you close? Just examine this and try to search for what it is that makes you close? Ask yourself, "Is it the person or the sound of the words that make me close?" The person does not make you close. And what he says also does not do this. It is just what you perceive. It is how you take it, how you interpret it. THe way that you take the words, how you perceive them that makes you close. This means that it is neither the words themselves nor the person who spoke them that close your heart. You are the one that decides. You are the one that closes yourself. So, you need to become free of your perceptions, free of your interpretations. What you think is what you receive. Therefore, you have full control. You have all choices. It is your choice to close. It is not what they give you. It is how you take it. That is your choice.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on October 9, 2010
Joshua Tree, California, USA

Wanja - September 26, 2010

Dear Tulku Lobsang,

Thank you so much for your lessons cc movements and breath for our body.
But your such a wise man, what can we learn about our food?

Best regards,
Wanja, Amsterdam

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

Dear Wanja,

Food is the root of the happiness. Food is our innate love. This means that we need to have a good relationship with food. Food makes us relax, allows us to rest and makes us happy. Therefore, if you really want to be happy person, you must have a good relationship with food. This means, don't eat too much, and don't eat too little. And don't eat wrong combinations of foods.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on October 9, 2010
Joshua Tree, California, USA

Ema - September 26, 2010

How can I learn to be more self confident and to accept? How to know what is my mission in this life? How to be more open and connected to the universe? How to heal in the right way? How to present my real self to the world?

Many blessings
Ema

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

Dear Emilija,

You must need to do what really makes you happy. This is the way to present yourself to the world. And remember that you are part of the universal existence. You exist inseparably. You do your best, but you still don't know what is right and wrong. Until right appears, until wrong appears, there is no moment to know what is right and wrong. Do your best. Don't worry what the result is. That is not your hand. That is how you become self-confident.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on October 9, 2010
Joshua Tree, California, USA

Peter - September 26, 2010

I followed your class yesterday and started enthousiasticaly with lu jong today. Now because of a special condition (a hernia in my diaphragm) I'm getting gastric juice in my esophagus when I bow. With the excercises I bow a lot and since yesterday I can feel gastric juice in my esophagus (between throat and estomach). I worrie a little that this can become worse. Do you think I can continue the exercises?

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

Dear Peter,

Sometimes this kind of movement can make these problems manifest, but then at some moment they go away. However, if you feel that the problems only become worse and worse, then maybe you need to stop. Or you need to adapt this exercise to your own ability so that it does not cause a strange feeling. Or, maybe you need to practice Tsa Lung. Find one of my students that teaches Tsa Lung. Maybe this helps you.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on October 9, 2010
Joshua Tree, California, USA

Annette - September 25, 2010

Dear Mr Lobsang,

I visited you're meeting today in Amersfoort is was very inspiring thank you. You mentioned not to take live so seriously. But how can we do that if life is a gift don't we owe it to the givers that we take it serious?

With lot of respect,
Annette

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

Dear Annette,

Who gives you this life? If you know who gives you life, then ask them.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on October 9, 2010
Joshua Tree, California, USA

Moon - September 25, 2010

You told us that te change is nessesary to feel happy.
But how do I see this when my husband told me that he leaves me?
I don't want a change like that.

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

Dear Monique,

Yes, I don't mean that change is happiness. But rather, that if you really want happiness, then accept change. Following the law of change is the only way to be happy. Remember, change is not something that is good or bad. Change can be taken in any direction. But, if you don't accept this change, then you will never ever be happy, not until you accept this change. Accepting change its the only way to be happy. But if you don't accept, then you are never happy. I'm sure that accepting change is also a little problem, but it is a much smaller problem than if you don't accept. Life is flowing. Change is the music of life. You need to dance however life makes music with you. Otherwise, you are never happy. You don't have control of anyone. What happens, happens. What is left, whatever happened, just accept. More than accept. That is how it is.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on October 9, 2010
Joshua Tree, California, USA

Lothar - September 09, 2010

If death comes very, very suddenly: what possibilities do i have in the moment of death to get good karma for a good reincarnation for next life?
For example a car accident: when it is not possible to have long thinking and to have long prayers?

Tashi delek
Lothar

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

Dear Lothar,

There are three possibilites.
First, in this moment you can try to connect yourself completely with the Buddhas. Make a deep prayer to the Buddhas and masters. Just one thought is all you need. Connection. That is the way for the mind to become silent, clear and pure.

Second, think of great love to all mother sentient beings. One simple thought. This also makes your mind become more pure and clear.

Third, don't think about being attached to anything in your life. Just completely accept what is happening. This makes you calm and clear. This enables you to have a calm and peaceful death. This will affect your next life and is also the way to generate good karma.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on October 9, 2010
Joshua Tree, California, USA

Sheila - September 08, 2010

Dear Tulku Lobsang,

I am trying to lose fear. Some years ago I suffered my first pannic attack and I started my spiritual life. Although it has been a great step to feel a healthy state of mind, I think I must find my mission in this life. I studied Philosophy but I don't feel myself teaching this rational way of thinking. I would like to help people to heal themselves. How can I discover the way to do it out of the official ways?

Thank you with all my love.

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

Dear Sheila,

Fear is the obstacle to a flowing life. How does fear become an obstacle to the flow in your life? Because of fear you never do what you really need to do. Fear always wants to know everything before it happens. But life is a dark and deep cave where no sunlight ever arrives. We never know what is in the dark and deep cave, but the fear always wants to know what is inside. But there is only one way to know what is really inside. You need to go inside this cave to really see what is there. Until you go in this cave to see what is there, your life is not flowing. It is blocked and you remain at one point and there is no continuation and this also makes you lose your self-esteem. When you lose self-esteem, then you lose the secret of reaching your goal. Self-esteem is what enables you to reach your goals.

Conclusion: The goal of life is that you need to become a happy person. Why? Because when you are happy, then you don't have any reason to harm others or to harm yourself. This is what I call "freedom." Free of problems.

~Tulku Lobsang

Vienna 13.09.2010