Nangten Menlang - Buddhist Medical Center

Phoenix - February 10, 2011

When we spoke in Phoenix, we joked a little, but also talked seriously. One point that I remember is you said "If you are going to take a serious spiritual path you cannot be in a relationship (with a man)". Please forgive me for misquoting you, and surly misunderstanding. My question... is there truth to this? Can one grow more spiritually by being free from committed relationships? After all there are many ways to be in love.

Response from Tulku Lobsang:

The reason I say this is because to seriously practice the spiritual path, you need complete freedom. You need to be free to do what you want. But, in the usual type of relationship, neither of you is totally free. Your partner doesn't let you do everything, maybe you need to always spend time together, so you can't do other things. This might cause trouble.

Of course, it is also possible that you might be in a relationship where you both have the same kind of warmth, the same kind of ideas, and then you don't block each other so much, only help. It depends what kind of relationship it is. Not all relationships aren't okay.

So, it is difficult to be with the kind of man that prevents you from doing things on your path. They may say yes at first, and then, in the end they say no. This is why I say this.

~Tulku Lobsang

Answered on June 8th, 2011
Florianopolis, Brazil